Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Baby Lily

Lily was born on Wed., Oct. 13. She came after being induced and only a few pushes. I have had to adjust to the fact that I have a baby girl and not a baby boy (a few slip-ups of him/he, buddy, etc.) but the pink, which I sooo dispised a few weeks ago, has really helped to make it real to me!

She is the sweetest little thing, even if she does have her nights and days confused. She sleeps constantly, which for a while worried me, but she seems to be doing well. She has dropped about a 1/2 pound since birth but I am hopeful that she will soon regain that! She has caught onto eating and thouroughly seems to enjoy that now, along with . . . sleeping, of course. A picture to come soon.

Friday, October 1, 2010

The Five DeFores?

Lily is due on October 15, but from the sounds of it, may actually make her presence known sooner than that which is, of course, surprising to me, who has never actually gone into labor without assistance from the doctors!

We are all anxiously awaiting her arrival, grandparents and Elijah maybe a bit more than me, as I have things that need to get done before she comes (conferences: booked every day next week; sub plans and generic lessons; washing; cleaning up the basement, etc). Tim let me know today that he was ready and then let me know that he actually KNEW where he was supposed to drive me in case I do go into labor:)

So, we will keep you posted on when Lily decides to come! I pray for a safe delivery and a healthy little 9 pound baby!

Gus, Our Seriously Big Boy

Gussy, as we affectionately call him, is a great little boy. He is so fun to play with and absolutely loves his older brother. He is very obedient to do what Elijah tells him to, unless he's not, in which case he very adamantly (and sometimes with a swipe of the hand to smack you), says, "Nnnnno!" He really does enjoy playing tiger and dinosaur with Elijah, has learned to play using his imagination, and play with play-do, thanks to watching and learning from brother.

Gus's vocabulary is so fun to listen to. Three months ago, he was starting to use some words, but in the past month, he has really advanced, speaking in sentences and using 2-3 word combos. Pronunciation is still not quite there which can be very frustrating for all trying to communicate sometimes.

Gus's favorite past time . . . BITING! Boy howdy, whether that kid is excited, angry, hungry, tired he BITES! It gets a little crazy sometimes when you are running away from him, while he chases you with his mouth open wide:) I am starting to think about Hot Sauce!

While Elijah is super excited for the arrival of his sister, I can honestly say that Gus probably is not! He smacks, steps on, and steals from his little cousin Levi who is 9 months old. I am pretty sure we will have to give him nice lessons or else Lily's going to have a tough couple of years until she learns to defend herself. All kidding aside, I hope that Gus adores his little sister and truly enjoys her presence. I will keep you posted!

Elijah, Our Big Boy

Elijah has become such a fantastic little boy. He is always asking if he has grown and letting us know that he is soo much bigger than his brother because he's older. We work to affirm his "bigness" even though he is only about 3 inches taller than his brother and only about 4 pounds heavier. But still, he is WAY bigger!

Elijah celebrated his 4th birthday this summer. He enjoyed having 2 parties on the same day and was even gracious enough to ask Vee, who came to BOTH parties, why she didn't bring a gift to the evening party, because, "You're supposed to bring gifts to parties!" It apparently wasn't enough that she had brought him 5 plus gifts in the morning. Fortunately, Elijah has Grandpa Jerry and Vee wrapped around his little finger and they just think everything he does is adorable!

Our little big boy started preschool on August 31. He has really enjoyed going and they do such fun things there. He is really in to dinosaurs and so has really enjoyed this past week where he got to go on a dig (ice) for a dinosaur. He showed us around at his open house the other day, which we enjoyed.

Finally, Elijah is still SUPER excited to welcome his new sister, Sassy Lily (she still has 2 names), in the next couple of weeks! He is going to be a great big brother, again. Hopefully, he will still be thrilled to have her, once he realizes she won't be able to do anything for like a year:)

Saturday, April 24, 2010

The Boys

Our boys are growing to be sooo big! It is a lot of fun with the stages they are in. They are both able to do a lot, which makes this house a happening place!!

Gus is messy. That is the first word that would come out of Tim's mouth if you asked him to describe Gus. I keep telling Tim that he's not even 2 yet, but seriously, he's messy. Everything he touches, eats, drinks, plays with . . . is messy. There's no getting around it!

Aside from his messiness, he absolutely LOVES his brother. He does EVERYTHING his brother does, even if it is hitting Mommy because that's what brother just did and got in trouble for! He has learned how to make the smacking sound people make when they kiss, so he will kiss Tim and I all the time, our hands, our arms, our legs, everywhere! He also ADORES being outside. He would stay out there all day if we would let him!!

We have dealt with the vomiting issue by putting a mattress in our room and laying down with Gus at bed time. It is not the perfect solution, but it sure has released some stress on my part. He sleeps through the night and it's not a hassel to get him to bed (and no vomit to clean up). I have decided, though, that he has something wrong with whatever keeps vomit down, as he just seems to do it so often (even not at bedtime or when crying). We'll have to get that checked out.

The funniest thing about Gus, is probably his run. If you see Tim, ask him to demonstrate. He is a flimsy runner who makes noise the entire time running. It is quite funny!!

Elijah continues to amaze us with his imagination. He LOVES playing with dinosaurs and dragons and animals and playdough. He likes for people to play with him, though he does great playing by himself, but we sometimes get tired of playing with him because we are always the dinosaur that gets eaten or the zebra that is attacked. He loves "killing" animals and hunting. Tim recently got him a Cabella's Hunting Wii game so they could go hunting and a Sim's Animal Wii game. Elijah loves shooting the various animals as well as feeding little animals to larger ones. We may have to keep an eye on this, huh?

Elijah has started reverting back to a 2 year old, thanks to Gus. He no longer wants to sleep by himself, he wants Daddy to sleep with him, he wants to sleep in our room, and he wants to scream (like Gus) in restaurants. He also says, "Up, mama," if he wants to be picked up (that's what Gus says b/c he can't talk). Funny, yet kind of frustrating. He has also started having bad dreams such as the other night: E: Mommy, I had a bad dream. M: Oh, I'm sorry, let me take you back into your room. What was your dream about. E (in a very angry voice): This one kid . . . he wouldn't let me play with playdough . . . and I was MAD (as he stomps his hands on his legs). I guess if this is as bad as bad dreams get, we are good to go!!

So that's our news. The boys are looking forward to a new baby that is due in October. Elijah keeps asking if it is still in my tummy. He is REALLY hoping for a girl because as he said (in kind of a nasty voice), "I already HAVE a brother." We'll see in a month or so if he's going to be disappointed or not!!

How's He Doing?

Well, it's been a while since I updated this. In fact, I kind of forgot about it until my friend Jodi reminded me. Goodness!!

So, life is back to normal in the DeFore household. Tim recovered well, except for the bout of vomit and other end that put him back in the hospital 2 weeks post opt, from transplant surgery, and after being laid up in the house away from people for 6 weeks, was itching to get back to life!

Tim is back at Holy Cross, taking care of the boys in the morning, and participating in everything he possibly can. He is able to help out at night with the boys (he hasn't really been able to since he started dialysis 2 1/2 yrs. before transplant), he's able to be around people (though he still has to be cautious that none of their nastiness gets on him:)), and he is able to go out to eat on a moments notice without having to come home to get his meds!!!

His creatnine (how they measure the effectiveness of kidneys) has never gotten down to normal levels (.8-1.3 for men), but has come down significantly from when he was at KU Med (18 down to 1.6), so things are going well. He has to get his bloodwork checked every week for the first year as that is the time period that most people will go into rejection. In fact, they say that almost EVERYONE will go into rejection during that first year, and so that is something we have to be aware of. He sees the doctor once a month and was released back to his Wichita nephrologist at the beginning of March.

We can only give praise to God. He knew that this was the perfect time for a transplant. The man who donated was actually from Wichita, and he saved at least 3 peoples' lives with his donation. We are blessed.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Gus Right Now

Gussy, Gussy, Gussy, what to say about my youngest? Well, he is still quite hefty but is losing grounds on height according to our recent doctors appointment. He speaks very little but makes lots of noise. He is a tonal talker. He mimics the tones and so therefor, speaks many words, according to his doting grandmas!!

Our recent difficulty with Gus is that he has decided that going to bed is NOT what he wants to do, at any time of night!! He cries and is angry if we lay him down. He vomits when he starts crying. I used to think it was just if he had a runny nose, then crying would cause problems and he would upchuck. The doctor says that it sounds like a learned trait! What?! How does one LEARN to vomit when he doesn't want to go to bed? So, it was suggested that when we lay him down we say very sternly, "You go to bed, you don't throw up!" It is very strange to get mad in tone when your child pukes because, normally, puking is a result of being sick and not being able to help it. Anywho, that is where we are with him!!

Gus absolutely LOVES his big brother, except when he doesn't. HaHa! He loves doing EVERYTHING that Elijah does, sometimes to Elijah's dismay! He loves anything he can bang on or that makes noise. He also loves being near people and HATES being alone (maybe that's the sleep issue, huh?). He is a very lovable boy and enjoys cuddles and hugs. He also enjoys getting the Wii remote and "playing" Wii! He is so fun to watch. What a blessing!!

Elijah Right Now

So my big boy Elijah is very interested in how big he will be when he "frows" up. He is certain he will be bigger than Daddy even though Daddy is bigger than EVERYONE else. It's fun the view he has of his Dad!! We celebrated Elijah's cousin Derrick's 23rd birthday yesterday. Derrick is over 6 feet tall but Elijah was certain that Daddy, at 5 foot 8, is bigger than Derrick as Daddy is older than Derrick. It's fun to see life from a 3 year olds view:)

The other thing we have been working on is Elijah's speech. Frows (grows), shuice (shoes or juice?), and Lisha (Elijah) are just some of the issues he has. The "j" sounds like an "sh" as does the "g." He is still says berryfoot for barefoot. You kind of don't want to correct him because it's just soooo cute, except for when he gets mad at you because you have no clue what he is saying.

He has the best imagination ever. He can play with his dinosaurs for literally 2 hours with no break. They do all sorts of things, but they especially love to eat each other and shoot one another. It is a lot of fun to listen to him pretend play. Elijah also does a great job of playing with his brother. They like to wrestle, play tiger (crawling around after each other growling), and chase each other. They are great friends and great enemies:) But, what do we expect of brothers right!!

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

We Got It!

Well, we finally got the call! On Wednesday, Jan. 27 around 6:15 PM, Gus and I were sitting down to eat dinner when the phone rang. Tim answered it and began smiling and saying yes and nodding. I started wondering what it was, so I asked if this was it. He nodded. And so it began.

While trying to feed Gus and keep him happy, I went into super mode getting our suitcase ready and our moms called. When Tim got off the phone, he just kind of wandered around. I suggested he take a shower as it probably would be a while since that happened (and I love being clean). He did that while I took a whiny Gus and tried to tote him around while I gathered everything.

We said our goodbyes to our boys and drove to Kansas City to KU Med Center. We arrived around 10:15 and got checked in around 11:30. From there Tim was poked and prodded until around 1:30 am when we finally went to sleep in the Transplant ICU.

He was scheduled for surgery at 10 am, then noon, then 3 pm and then finally actual surgery on Thursday, Jan. 28, 2010 at around 5:15 pm. There had been a few snags in actually getting the kidney to KC, but it had finally arrived and the surgeons were ready. They took Tim away and I went to wait.

Around 7:30, the nurse came out and told me the new kidney was in and it was already working!! Around 9:15 he was done. Dr. Forster is the transplant surgeon who worked on Tim. He said the kidney was big, oozing more than he would have liked, took the PD catheter out, but was too tired to fix the ambilical hernia. I went up to the ICU waiting room and finally got to see Tim around 10:30.

Dr. Winklehofer, the best nephrologist around because of his positive outlook and great bedside manner, sat down and talked with me prior to seeing Tim post-op. Everything looked great, he said. Big was better. Oozing, no problem. When I finally got to go in and see Tim he was quite doped up. He was so polite and said he loved me, with just a slight slur and slowed words:) Within minutes of me seeing him, the nurses started their secret talk of, "Listen to his lungs . . .what do you hear . . . call the team . . . get ready . . . " A little freaky for a devoted wife who just got her husband out of surgery.

I was informed that Tim's lung had collapsed, a surgical team was on their way up, told all of the horrific things that could go wrong with putting a chest tube in, and then was required to sign a paper that said I was great with that. As I held back tears, one young surgeon assured me that the lady placing the tube was the best around, did it all the time, and it would be okay.

In the waiting room, I broke down, prayed, and talked with Ashton, my niece, on Facebook. Boy am I glad she stayed up late that night. I was prepared for the surgery, but not for the complications. I am so grateful for the number of prayers that were being sent up for Tim. It is still amazing to me to hear of all of the places around the United States where church members of extended relatives and friends were praying. Around 11:30 pm, I saw Tim again. He was snoring away.

Dr. Winklehofer had told me earlier to talk to him for 5-10 minutes and then go to a hotel because he would be out all night long. So I left. Later, I realized that he told me that PRIOR to knowing of Tim's collapsed lung.

I got a call at 1:50 am from the nurse saying that Tim was ADAMENT that he speak to me. He apparently had been strapped down because he was trying to pull out his tubes and had no idea why he had a tube in his chest. He didn't remember me talking to him post-op and was worried that I would be worried. When I got to the ICU the next morning, he about broke my heart. He said he had the worst night and had been counting the minutes until I got there. Talk about guilt.

Once I got there, things seemed to start looking up for him. He was in horrendous pain, not from the kidney, but from the chest tube. We can definitely say it was the thorn in Tim's side:) He slept a lot that day as he had access to morphine every 6 minutes to ease the pain.

Good ole Derrick, our nephew, had Friday off because of the snow and so drove Tim's sisters Corina and Denah up to visit. Prior to them visiting, Corina's cousin Marsha and her husband Ed, made a surprise visit which really lifted Tim's spirits. I am so thankful for the snow God sent so that Tim's family could come up. On Saturday, Tim's mom Joyce and Denah again came up to visit as a surprise. Joey Weikal, who lives in KC, came to visit bringing us magazines and puzzle books, Stan Longhoffer from our church came to visit following a presentation he had in KC, and Marsha's sister Lori and parents came to visit. Tim was very thrilled to have all of these visitors as he was getting pretty bored of me! HaHa! He was also blessed with cards and e-cards sent from a number of friends!

Following surgery, Tim's creatnin levels began dropping 2-3 points everyday! IV's got taken out 3 days post-op, catheter 4 days post-op, chest tube and JP drain (kidney drain) 5 days post-op, and we get to go home 7 days post-op (thanks Dr. Wong). His recovery has gone very well. We will be back every 3-4 days for the first couple of weeks, then once a week, then once every other week, until we are released back to Wichita care.

We have been so blessed by a wonderful group of doctors, nurses, and aides who truly cared for Tim and knew what they were doing. Aside from the unfortunate event of poking Tim's lung, everything has gone like clock work.

We are thrilled to get back to "real life" and see how that goes. My nerves are overwhelmed thinking about taking care of everything, but I am so blessed to have family support and my church family to help us through this. We have meals ready to be delivered, offers to drive Tim up to clinic (as he can't drive for 4-6 weeks), people willing to mow, clean, and babysit. I already have lined up a babysitter for Tim and the boys so that I can go play Bunco on Saturday, because, you know, that is top priority:)

God is a good God. He is faithful and His timing is perfect. Did I mention that Tim was set to have surgery on Feb. 1 to switch to Hemodialysis because his Peritoneal Dialysis was no longer effective? Only God can time that.

We pray for the family of the 42 year old Hispanic man who lost his life to a stroke for being willing to provide life to my husband. We can never repay that. Isn't it interesting to think, though, that 42 years ago, before Tim was even born, God knew the plans he had for this gentleman. For him to live his life, and then to save not only one but two people's lives with his healthy kidneys? I am amazed and honored that God knew, that God's plans are perfect, and that when I get overwhelmed and angry with God for not doing it my way, that HIS way is perfect!

Thank you God! What a huge blessing you have given us!!!

Please continue to lift Tim up. Rejection of the kidney is always a real risk as is Tim getting sick now that his immune system is purposefully down. His blood pressure and blood sugar have remained high, which is normal, but could also lead to other problems such as diabetes. Pray Tim does not develop that. We again are thankful for your prayers and your love! You are amazing!!

Saturday, January 2, 2010




Winter Vacation

It has been a wonderful 2 weeks off with my wonderful family. Elijah, unfortunately, has been sick going on 5 days now with a fever and cough. Poor little guy. He wasn't too devastated though, because he took his own little vacation to Vee and Grandpa's house for 3 days and nights. He wasn't too thrilled to be coming home!!

Gus has learned very well how to communicate without words. When he needs you, he comes over and whacks you in the face, arm, wherever he can reach. He proceeds to grunt and point in the direction he is needed. If, by chance, he cannot whack you, he will scream in the most obnoxious high pitched scream you have ever heard! The one word he is able to say is "ot" which is Hot. EVERYTHING is "ot." The other word he knows is "dada." He says this word any time you ask him to specifically say something. Say mama . . . "dada." Say grammy . . . "dada." Then he claps and is so proud of himself for saying EXACTLY what you asked of him. He is a cute little guy with precious locks. We will have to be careful about him turning into Goldie Locks, as that is unacceptable, but they are so cute!!

Elijah is constantly saying cute things. Just now, he pushed a button on the Alvin toy he got from McDonalds that says, "Hello Gorgeous." He says, "Hello Go Shock!" He once again, at Vee's, wanted to "get naked" (take off his shirt like Grandpa). Grandma Evelyn jokingly said she should do the same and Elijah said, "No, you can't because of those things on your belly!" To Tim, Elijah has told him, "Don't throw that mommy's milk away, we should save it for Gussy's sister who is in Mommy's tummy (wrong)." Daddy asked, "What's her name?" Elijah replied, "Kari, Kari, where are you?" Another time after Daddy had read the story of the 3 trees (the trees were used for the manger Jesus laid in, the boat when Jesus walked on water, and the cross where Jesus was crucified), Elijah asked Tim,"Daddy can you tell me a story about 5 trees now? When they cut one of them down, will it be made into a wooden puppy?" Elijah continues to amuse and is such a great big brother to Gus!! He loves his dinosaurs, animals, and play dough. Did I say loves, I meant obsessed!!

Tim and I are doing well. We are on constant alert for the transplant that will be coming. They have called twice and we have not gotten it. I have begun to feel like the boy that cries wolf, only we are just sharing the info that we are receiving. One of these days, I will share the info, and we will ACTUALLY get the transplant. We also have enjoyed playing our Wii, playing games, and hanging out with our wonderful family!!